Unedited and Unfiltered

Updates:

 

Since I last updated everyone on my adventures and outings it’s safe to say that LOTS have changed. So let me jump back to a week ago when I was working at the company Blue Branch:

My days at Blue Branch consisted of waking up at 5:45 AM and getting to the office at 7AM. Field hours between 9AM and 6PM and then return to the office for a settle up of the days sale production and any workshops/meetings/networking events. Most days I was home by 9PM and in bed by 10. I did this 6 days a week.

Sounds like shit right?

Well- here are the benefits:

• I am actually really good at sales and thus make pretty good money doing it.
• I had a large community of people I worked with and felt more connected to Scotland and the world
• I had goals of progress and growth within this company

 

Here are the negatives:

• Despite making money I ended up spending half of it in travel beause it was self employed expenses.
• These colleagues (as made evident by a few stories I will tell later in this blog entry) were not my friends, but merely peers with ulterior motives as well.
• The goals I set for myself might not have been ones I really wanted.

 

So, after a bottle of wine and a long conversation with my sister that went something like “I don’t think I like my job” – “Well if you don’t like it, change it.” I quit.

 

Now here’s the shit that really grinds my gears: After sending a long resignation email and a nice text message to my training manager both my manager and leader just pretended I no longer existed. Like FO REAL. I was immediately removed from the facebook groups, and removed from the whatsapp group and was never responded to.  I was simply swept under the rug as though I never existed in this company in the first place. Don’t get me wrong I only worked there for 2 months- but still 75 hours a week for two months is a lot of fucking time and energy.

 

So I quit. And since then (now it’s only been 3 days) I’ve been SO happy.

On Sunday I applied to 25 jobs and already have 5 interviews scheduled (they keep rolling in actually.) I got offered a positon at a hotel café which is cool I guess. Have another interview at a hotel tomorrow and honestly I’m just excited to spend a few months doing a fuck all kind of job and really just re asses my goals.

This now brings me to another point. I’ve been toying with the idea of becoming and Au pair for a family in Germany. I have a skype interview set up for tomorrow and would be really excited about the prospect of improving my German and reconnecting with my heritage. Not to mention the fact that I would be able to ignore real responsibilities for another year or so (lol). So as I began to toy with this idea my imagination expanded to include other countries. Italy, Spain, Denmark, Australia, New Zealand…and the list grows. So what to do now? Work in Edinburgh for a few months? Use my ridiculously impulsive move to Scotland as a catalyst to do the same elsewhere? But why not? (other than my student debt mountain back in the U.S. that I try to remain blissfully ignorant of) Why not just get hired as an au pair and fly to Australia for a year. I could do it. I suppose I would need to get a visa for Australia but like….then I just go home and kiss my parents good bye again and THEN go to Australia.

I guess all I’m saying in this entry is that I am so sick and tired of trying to make it seem like I have a clue what I’m doing; As though my moves are intentional and I’m about to checkmate the king in this chess game of life. In reality I’m another naive millennial stuck with the tragedy of thinking I can be and do whatever I want while simultaneously feeling the constant social pressure to find a stable career that will garner respect and profit.  This is what’s so frustrating! If only I could be irresponsible and silly and flit about all around the world. Will I be able to make up for lost time when I am ready to decide my future? Or maybe this really is what I want. To travel. To be a vagabond. To never really settle until I’ve seen it all. Maybe. We’ll see….

 

-Kelsey