The Beginning

ANNIKA: “I think I want to move to Scotland and study Shakespeare”

“Can I come with you?”

“Wait really?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure! I’d love that”

“Cool. Let’s do that then”

And thus. It began. So it will officially begin. In 70 days. That’s a thing that exists now. Fabulous. We talked about starting a blog, (as well as a vlog) to chronicle our experiences and I figured now would be as good a time as any to start it. She’ll add to this when I’m done hopefully, and then you, you lucky reader, will get to hear about both of our thoughts on the matter 2 months early. Don’t you feel lucky? I’m glad.

To be honest, at this juncture I’m not sure how I feel. Having just returned from summer stock 2 weeks ago, I feel a bit like I’m at a bus stop awaiting my next travel destination. Coming back to California was a mere pit stop before moving onwards again. I’m simultaneously itching to get the hell out of here, while also desperately wishing I could stay longer. I’ve felt this way every time I’ve left California, but this time it’s stronger. There’s a comfort in knowing I’m going into the unknown with someone else. And there’s a comfort in knowing that if it all goes to hell, it’s not a permanent destination. Nothing is really. But at the same time I do consider myself a bit of a homebody. I like having a clear idea of where everything is. Who I am amongst my friends, and what my next day is going to be like. There’s a solidarity in that which is wonderful. I’ve begun to create a life here. I have fabulous friends. I have a good career that lets me have the freedom to pursue what I actually want to do in life. And I’ve begun to make strides in my theater career as well. Even my romantic life doesn’t suck anymore….who would’ve ever thought? And yet, I’m willingly up and leaving it all behind for a completely unknown experience. Who does that? Why on earth would I do that? What happens if it all fails? We know practically nothing about the culture, the people, the job market, the housing, the economy…I know absolutely nothing about finding theater work in Scotland. I have a vague plan of auditioning for the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland which is pretty cool but that isn’t even until April and really…that’s such a minor thing in the vast journey of MOVING TO A NEW COUNTRY.

And yet…I’m so so so excited. I like that I have no idea what’s going to happen. I’ve wanted to move to Europe (and specifically the United Kingdom) since 2009 and I’m finally doing something about it. I love that this half baked idea I mentioned to my sister one day in December 2013 has turned into a full reality. The world is a such a small place now. The miles, and the borders, and the oceans are so small and insignificant if you don’t think of them as obstacles. And life should always be an adventure if you can make it thus. What more could you want really? HOLY SHIT WE’RE MOVING TO SCOTLAND!! WOOHOOO!!!!!!

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

KELSEY: 10 weeks. 70 Days. 1,680 Hours. 100800 minutes. Not a long time really. I suppose as a first time blogger and a first entry it is essential that I mention I am not a writer nor an excellent story teller, but that’s not the point is it? This blog is about having two points of view on the same page. Well, I suppose I can start by saying I’m not worried about moving, but I’m terrified of the future.
Growing up I had everything figured out; I knew what I wanted in life and how I was going to get there. I went to college directly after high school, got an excellent degree, had more friends than I needed, and I had a wonderful (now ex) boyfriend. I guess the point is that up until recently; I knew where I wanted to be in 5 years and how I was going to get there.
Well, life has a funny way of throwing curveballs because for some reason everything I thought I wanted looks lack-luster now. So when Annika and I joked about moving to Scotland (because to me that’s what it was- a not so real-half assed-not actually going to happen- joke) I never imagined how perfectly ready I would be for this change.
The details of moving to foreign country don’t actually seem so intimidating anymore. I’m confident in myself and my capabilities. I’m confident in my sister’s as well. We will find a place to call our own. We will find a community of people. We will probably find out a lot of things about ourselves that we didn’t know before. I cannot wait to go.
For me moving to Scotland is the adventure of a lifetime. The chance to shake off every expectation, say “fuck everything”, and actually live in the moment! When looking at the laundry list of expectations us 20 somethings have I realize more and more that I want none of these things. There is no actualization in having a job I had no desire in working in the first place. A 401K (as practical and intelligent as they are/I really should get one) has no bearing on my self-worth. A boyfriend turned husband and a child on the way is neither a goal nor interest. Ultimately, I don’t really know what it is I want anymore and I certainly don’t think working a nine to five in my hometown living in my parents’ house is going to do anything for me and those existential needs of mine.
So here’s to you Scotland. Here’s to finding myself. Here’s to being afraid and uncertain of what lies ahead. Finally, here’s to the gallons of whiskey I plan to consume in the next year. Because fuck it- I’m an American in Scotland.